Even you have betrayed me.
You asshole! I thought you were forever!!!!
I thought you would never leave me.
Even when he left, i thought you wouldn’t.
I really want you to return, for you freed me of depression. I feel so heavy now. But i just cant find the words, i cant find a person to pour out to.
You were my lifeline. You gave me hope, that even when it hurts today, tomorrow will be just fine.
But now?? What am i supposed to do now??
Im hopeless. I feel terrible. I feel vulnerable.
I just cant hold on anymore.
When they say its in the eyes, i knew it too. Because you were there, deep down, waiting to overflow.
They say you cry when you are sad. But is it though?
We cry when we are exhausted. We cry when we feel like it doesn’t matter anymore, its not coming back.
Crying does not make you weak, for crying shows the courage you had possessed that made you hold on, even when letting go seemed a better option.
I know im loved, i know im cherished but to feel it, one ought to feel the pain.
Im not hurt. Im not in pain. Actually, im not in anything.
Im suffering, silently and gracefully.
“Pretty pretty girl, what more do you need!! For you have a pretty face and a pretty body!”
Yes, im soooooo happy. Im sooooo happy that im smiling too hard. This is what you see!
Im smiling and im laughing. What a perfect life that i have!
Do you see that im fading? Slowly and steadily?
One day im here, next, im not.
Maybe then you’ll all see.
May you find it odd, but i feel pleasure in pain.
For to feel is to live. But little do i feel today, i feel like im disappearing. Maybe i feel less because its ending.
But you, you have betrayed me. And im sad you did. For once you were there. Ready to embrace whenever i felt less.
But now, its just me.
Me against them all.