“No” she whispered. As quietly as she could.
Was it to not let others hear them in that dark corner of the road, or was it just not to hurt his feelings that much?
He still kept on coming closer to her, gently crushing her against that old and crumbling wall, trying to remove those hands of hers pushing him away, standing obstacle between them on that “special moment”, at least for him.
She kept shaking her head. She was confused, confused between love and love. She was confused for whether to act on the love she had for herself or to keep on feeding to the one she had for him.
She kept shaking her head. “Please baby…” still trying to keep it as soft and inoffensive as possible. She was drowning, half in fear and disgust and half, of course, in love.
“Shhhhh!” He was even gentler this time, like death creeping on through the veins of old people, slowly and unnoticeable to the naked eye. She looked at his face, his eyes were closed. He was in ecstasy. She haven’t seen him this happy around her since in the infancy of their relationship and somehow the innocence of her love for him made her senseless this time.
He kept running his fingers through her body, starting from her neck to her lips, then down to her stomach through her chest. He was high, high on lust, it was consuming his senses but at that moment, he just did not care! For he felt like ‘a real man’.
Things were a bit different on the other side. Tears dripping down her cheeks, she swallowed her screams and stood there, like a statue, pretty sure she felt like one too, and she did it all ‘in the name of love’.
“If not for him, then for whom? If this can make him happy, make him love me more…” A thousand thoughts ran through her mind and none of them could save her then. She was being betrayed by her on consciousness. She was helpless but she did not know then.
It’s interesting how the heart of a female, functions. Battles are being fought on her name, people die on her word. Her sound have the power to manipulate thousands, yet is she easily manipulated, toyed with. She grows up learning to give, her favorite things to her brother, her dreams to her family and finally, her body to some man.
Just a silly, stupid creature which just doesn’t know what she is actually capable of.
Their walk back to the main road wasn’t as hard as to when they went searching for that dark corner. No, when he went searching for that dark corner dragging her with him. Now that sounds about right! But it doesn’t make much change, does it?
He held her hand tightly and looked at her often, his eyes were shining like a master happy with his dog’s obedience, he was proud of her. His whole face was glowing.
She gave him a weak smile back. Like the dog after doing everything in it’s reach to please it’s master.
She felt weak, her whole body was shaking inside out. Each step she took, she felt it even harder to walk. She hid it all with that smile of her’s. Her whole world was trumbling down inside of her. She did not feel like herself. She couldn’t. She felt disgust,anger, pity and so much more of those unexplainable feelings one feel after doing something which you know you cannot forgive yourself for doing, not anytime soon.
But she held it all in and kept on smiling. After all, she was but a loyal dog and She made her master proud.