Never let the fire go out.

It’s okay, you know, to not be able to put to words what it is that you want out of your life. To have this persistent and wild longing for something and not know what it really is, to lose sleep over something that you just cannot put your finger on. To feel it, yet not understand what’s it that you are feeling. 

It’s okay to have that strange feeling dancing inside of you, let it burn magnificently. Let it fuel your cravings. Let it inspire you to go on impulsive adventures, to long for the smell of the ocean, to take a roadtrip without a map. Let it provide you with courage to finally get lost in a place where nobody knows your name, to peacefully drink your coffee at a street cafe to the background music of a foreign language. Don’t let it dry out, do not ignore it and go on with your daily life. Search for it. Try out new things, explore your inner cravings. Look for it in new places, new people, experiment with new experiences, explore your desires. 

And maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to stumble upon it. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll find  something else in the way. But looking back, let me promise you, you won’t regret a second of it. 

Musings.

Or maybe the problem is that we look for perfection in every relationship we share. That we believe, if only we could find another, who goes gracefully with the way we lead our lives or perhaps another who fit rightly into that one empty space of our puzzles, we’d be better off. The problem with our desperate search for people who would provide us with happiness and contentment, is that we often forget to regard that it isn’t that simple, that people aren’t as plain as that,  afterall. For example, take a moment to try and define yourself. You see, the thing is, all through our lives, we try to pen meaning to our own lives, to magically find our purposes, while at the same time, changing our perspectives of living every second of it, growing each day, everyday. And yet we expect another human being to fit into our chaos without being there, any friction.  

The problem is that the people we meet aren’t just pieces to our puzzles, they are a whole puzzle on their own, each of them. But we are still not ready to accept it, that life isn’t just as simple as that. That life is but a tangled pile of answered riddles. And us, we are just as clueless as this world can get. 

Questions without answers.

But what are we then?
It will be misleading to describe a person for what they wear or the shape of their face. Even more off target will it be to delineate a breathing being for the size of their belly or the color of their skin. How is it to be considered legitimate, to draw a person and there not be included in it the wonderful thoughts that they had for the day? How would it be anything if not a lie, to call them by a name and not embrace the marvel that is in the thousand emotions they experience with the span of seconds? To live with the lives of all whom they love, despise and adore, inside of them exist more of others than they ever find of themselves. An act of kindness, suffocating laughter, scream of raw frustration, hour-long patience, tears of joy, warmth of a hug, numbness of betrayal… A person is all that, and much more. Or perhaps a person is nothing but skin, blood and bone.
How would we ever know?

In search of whatever it is, love.

“…he’s more myself

Than I am. 

Whatever our souls 

Are made of, 

His and mine 

Are the same.”     -Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights) 

What is love? This question certainly might have come up in each one of our minds at least once. But how many of us have an answer for it, that could satisfy the longings of every hopeless romantic out there? How many of us can define this beautiful phenomenon and still manage to preserve every drop of it’s magical essence? 

“Love is the sea where intellect drown” -Rumi 

Love is everything, some say.

It resides in every tiny particle of this chaotic world. 

It gives us meaning, it makes us do extraordinary things, stupid things. 

Love conquers all. How fascinating is that all through centuries people tried to put a pin on this mysterious spell but ended up more confused than ever.

 Battles were fought and many, called off, in the name of love. 

Lives were taken and new ones created. 

Hearts were broken, while some glowed out of their chests with the pure joy that came with falling in love. 

Some say love is selfless, for others, it is as selfish as keeping their loved ones inside of their grips. 

People travel miles, searching for that which will finally quench their thirst, which will somehow give their lives, a purpose, 

That love is the only answer.

But what happens when love becomes a question? 

Where do we go for an answer then? 

What is love? 

A little something for you.

We are here and that’s everything.

You’ve been so brave, fighting fearlessly at the face of the adversities life’s thrown at you and never once thought of giving up. I cannot imagine being in shoes and going through everything that you ever so graciously faced and out of which you came fearless than ever. You inspire me.

Here is something for the most fearless fighter I know: 

Love, life and other mysteries.

Isn’t it terrifying? Commitment?
How can a person promise another person a tomorrow? Is it that simple? It scares me because you can love a person with all your heart one day and wake up next day feeling nothing. Nothing at all. How can a human being promise another living creature, A tomorrow when even the plausibility existence is not guaranteed.
This is a reality, a very scary one indeed. Human emotions comes with it’s complexities, most times which are incomprehensible. And there’s literally nothing you can do about it. You’ll hate yourself for feeling the way you feel, you’ll drown in guilt, you’ll try extremely hard to make things right again but it wont be. It’s not that easy. There’ll be nothing left to work upon, because the love is gone. Gone for good.

Sweet Dreams and nightmares.

Pearls in the night sky,
Breeze of some faraway pour,
Crystal flowing through the woods,
Illuminating the world above.

And You. Your hands tangled in my hair.

A tangled mess that is life.

We are growing. Everyday, every second of it. And with this passage of the times do we come around the fact that this life, with all it’s endless flaws and inconsistencies, brings with it the company of some beautiful human beings as well. Some of them stay for a bit longer than the others, while some leave sooner than you expect them to. And in their departure, some leave voids, while others, scars. People impact us, even the ones we do not notice; They pass their lives to us, even if it’s just for a second. They visit us in our dreams, those unrecognizable faces, they exist inside of our heads for a very long time. They shape our thoughts, our emotions but we don’t realize that, everything we feel, our intuitions and doubts, excitements and dreads, everything in between. 

We never truly understand a person, they are a million different things each of them, growing in their own pace, whilst going through unexplainable traumatic experiences.

We are not who we were a moment ago, no one is. We change with every passing second, for better or for worse but we change. So do the people we meet.  And the thing is, no one has ever met the same version of a person that we have met and that version now lives only inside of us.

Inside of us lives a version of a hundred million people that no one else got to know. Inside of us lives a hundred million stories that no one else had read. How fascinating is that. 

Broken thoughts

But why do I feel like I will never be enough?
That you will leave,
No matter how deeply I fall for you,
Everyday, in every way?
This labyrinth, it’s doing me no good.
I know this, yet, I choose to stay.
And for an us of someday, I choose to dream.

Because Love is a mystery in many ways.
And mine, I will water it anyway.

Circle of eight by Hush

Wabi Sabi: A beautiful art of living.

Wabi Sabi is a Japanese philosophy that teaches us to embrace the imperfections, drawing us to the beauty of things coarse and unrefined. Slowly filling us with fascination over the odd and misshapen that are conventionally thought to be “ugly” or “not in good taste”. Providing us with a chance to learn to accept the natural cycle of growth and decay. Celebrating the cracks, the words we never said and the paths we never took, making peace with the crevices and all other marks that time, weather and love leaves behind. 

Come to think of it, how inspiring is it that everything we learned to despise, to condemn during the course of our lives, were actually nothing but the most beautiful creations of the higher power? We are so busy trying to find perfection in the lives we live, searching for something better, covering up the scars and rough spots we carry, that we almost forget that being human fundamentally implies being imperfect. 

At least once in your lives you might’ve said to yourselves that it’s okay to fail, to not be enough, to leave things unfinished, we’ve all been there but no, it’s not just ‘okay’, it’s beauteous! It’s everything life is about, to set loose the worries of our hectic lives and appreciate the untamed genuine beauty that, sadly, goes unnoticed.  

And once you acknowledge the essence of Wabi Sabi, that we are all but transient beings on this planet, that our bodies just like the material world around us are in the process of returning to the dust from which we came, ultimately accepting the concept of the death as a ‘synonym for beauty not in use’ , it urges us to see with eyes, spirit and soul wide open. 

A beautiful Wabi Sabi vase